I ♥ Yanling

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Limpness ....

Really loathe of "pay lip service"....
Felt listlessly as I heard what my hubby hd told me yesterday afternoon....he said he w back to office on ths morning 31/12....the last day of 2007 !!
He hd plausibly promised w tk leave on 31/12 since last wk....to celebrate the last day of yr end w ours lively children at JB ....ths great new made us liven & rapturous ^o^
My dearest hubby also repeated his promissory on Saturday afternoon 29/12 while Birdie went to tuition class ....
Who w knw what w happened on the nx day ?
Regrettable , all changed as sudden ....
Ya ...we were really went to JB at 6:30am yesterday morning ....ths ws nt a pleasant holiday celebration ....the main reason ws he gt golf game w his frds at Starhill JB ...
While he finished his "maniacal" golf game...he gv me a shocked news : " We must back to S'pore as he gt special lunch w his colleagues at office tomorrow !! "...
After heard his planned ...I asked him "when he knw ths lunch date ?"...he gv me a terrible answer : " last wk ! "...just like nothing happened b4 ~~!
It ws a really wonderful "drama" I never ever knw....seen that I ws manipulated as a fool puppet....my lovely Birdie & Eagle also felt disappointed too....
After thought about what he hd done ...set up...promised....I ws realized what hd actually happened ...mayb I ws too recklessly & trusted him....
Love s blind & stupid....I agree....bcoz I really more like a dump nw !
Broke-promissory ....spoit family holiday planned...destroyed family trusty...
Did he really a remorseless guy ? I still wonder did I married w a "stranger" ? Or I never really knw his real personality ?...
After 12yrs married ...repentance & repellent always repetitively n my mind ....especially ths few yr....
I never 4gt what he hd done to me when Eagle ws born ....he teased me as fat as smelly motion n front of my parents & children...it really hurt me ~!
Therefore , I started to slim dwn fm 84kg until 53kg nw....mayb I should grateful of his "graciousness" teased right ?
Shilly-shally s my weak manner...I gv up suicide as hyperactivity Eagle & obiling Birdie still need my protection & care ...gv up divorce as I thk I still love him much that ever...
Did my blove obliviousness ? trickery ? trifler ? machinations ?
Feel sombrely nw ....I ws crying when I ws at gym ths morning....couldn't controlled my emotion...
Shout & scream & cuss really appeared n my mind...but I w never do it as ths may scare or hurt my lovely kids --Eagle & Birdie ...
Limpness...disconsolately...discomfit...nt relating w the called off holiday ...but s regarding w trusty...forswore...deceived...
Did I & my hubby w " Darby and Joan" ?
.........
Could someone gv me some console ? mental support ?